My Way to Jesus Part I

My Way to Jesus Part I

Since I was a small boy, I knew I was different from the other boys. My grandfather is a pastor who stays at his church in the town and he has recently retired at the age of ninety. My aunt is the preacher of a small congregation in the village where I have grown up. However, my parents, poorly educated though, were then indifferent to any religions, be it filial piety, folk religions or foreign ones, i.e., Christianity. But they would sometimes go to church or join in prayer meetings out of their respect to my grandfather. Likewise, I went to church for a couple of times reluctantly, especially when my grandfather came to lead the Eucharist worship or the Spring Festival Revival Meetings. I had to go only because of my respect and obedience to him. But once a year I would be very active in the church and that was the Christmas celebration. I would happily and hopefully sing songs and recited bible passages as they told me to. The reason is that the church would give candies, cookies and Christmas gifts. I was also told that Jesus would cleanse me from the sins, forgive my faults, and be kind and generous to help me if I prayed to him and the Bible was the inspired and inerrant Word of God. So I had been familiar with the Christian faith and practice before I seriously thought about it later.

For many times when I begin sharing my faith story with these facts about my family and my childhood, some hearer cannot help giving his or her comment of hindsight, “Ah, so you grow up in a Christian environment. That’s why you now also become a Christian.” Well, my response to it is that it is plausible and probable but not necessary. Moreover, it seems to me the comment reflects the logic that unbelief or atheism is justifiable because man is irreligious by nature and only becomes religious or spiritual by nurture. I think it is untrue.

As a little boy, like my peers, I was afraid of walking alone in the evenings for adults talked of the drowned demons or strangled demons and I did invoke the name of Jesus for protection at times. I was also exposed to the folk religions. Buddhist monks, shamans, witches, and their mystic rites were very popular among the villagers. Ancestor worship was observed by all except the Christians. And I often heard from my aunt stories about Sister Li, Lin, or Luo’s being alienated or mistreated by the non-Christian family members because of her nonparticipation in ancestor devotion and idol worship. But these Christians also developed a vigorous or even ecstatic style of worship. They cried, laughed, jumped, shaked and spoke in tongues of dadadada or lalalala. So I did believe in the existence of some divinities or demons but they all scared me.